Wishing and willing.

A post from our COO, Amy Osekowsky…

My boyfriend Peter found this note on our kitchen counter last week and was perplexed about it worried about my sanity: “No amount of wishing and willing is going to get my hibiscus to me.”

I’ve taken to writing myself notes in my sleep about the things, big and small, that keep me up at night so that I can get back to sleep.

Last week started as a week filled with a lot of wishing and willing. Monday began with trouble shipping the chocolate. Then, neither the guava paste nor the hibiscus was sent by Monday night, my mental cut-off time.

The thing was that I had done everything possible to prepare for our import—I scoured the websites of the FDA, Customs, USDA, and Mexican agricultural agencies. I called every government agency possible. Twice. (But that’s another story.) I worked with FedEx and DHL to make sure everything was set-up and understand the process. I communicated the plan with our partner farmers multiple times. I had done the work, and it was time to put the plan in action and step back.

Both Tuesday and Wednesday mornings began with great promise, only to have enough problems with importing the hibiscus and guava paste to give me a headache by 11AM. It was exhausting. It was outside my control. And it left no energy to do the tough work that I actually could influence.

So, (amidst tears and lamenting to my teammates, mind you) I told myself I had done all that was within my power, and I gave myself permission to stop obsessing about it. It was relieving to tell myself that I could stop worrying, I could go back to doing something productive, and the shipment was in God’s/a higher power’s/the FDA’s hands now.

All that’s not to say that this isn’t a work in progress. After all, I did obsessively check my email between Friday evening and Sunday morning to see if FedEx sent me an update on the hibiscus. It requires practice, but I’ll undoubtedly have countless opportunities for that.